Bring grandson or grandson? What kind of “Thanksgiving”? People who passed by have told the truth.
Now that the pace of life is so fast, many young parents are already very stressful and tired at work every day, and they really don’t have the energy and time to deal with their children’s various problems. Because of this, many families are brought by elders from generation to generation. Although this approach has many benefits, it does bring about many contradictions and conflicts in family relationships.
When I was walking in the park yesterday, I heard two aunts on the side of the flower bed muttering this topic. One of them said to the other, “How do you bring children to your daughters? You can’t raise your grandchildren. In the end, it’s not your son and grandchildren who will support you in the end. At this time, if you have a baby, the relationship will not be good in the future. “The other one also sighed. “Is there any way? The girl’s mother-in-law said that she was not healthy. If she was really allowed to live at home, I am worried that the girl would get angry. Now I can help a little bit.”
After listening to this conversation, I couldn’t help feeling a little bit sorrowful. It is said that the old people are sentimental to help with the baby, but not to help is the duty. However, in real life, the impact of helping or not to every family member can not be explained by just one sentence. In fact, there are many problems that the elderly have with their babies, and they are likely to have a lasting and far-reaching impact on the relationship between family members.
For example, for those elderly with two or three children, if they help their son with a baby, should the girl help out during confinement? If everyone helps, the elderly will be too tired; but if they help selectively, no matter what the reason is, will other children feel uncomfortable secretly in their hearts? There is also the close relationship between grandson, grandson, and granddaughter. How should we deal with it?
Actually, the reason why the elderly feel distressed is nothing more than worrying about their own efforts. I’ve been busy for so long to get old but I’m complaining, or the baby I’ve taken so hard to bring out is not close to me. So which way of bringing a baby is better for the elderly?
Bringing a baby to a son is more inclined to take responsibility, especially when getting along with his wife in daily life, the elderly need to be careful not to intervene too much. Although men and women are now equal, some families simply have only one child. But everyone seems to still have the idea of’raising children and guarding against old age’. This is also true. After many old people have grandchildren and granddaughters, not only will they feel that they need to help with them, but the people around them will also feel that their grandchildren and granddaughters should be taken care of by their grandparents. But this does not mean that bringing grandchildren is a matter of course.
In particular, many elderly people live with their sons in order to take care of their children. It is inevitable that there are some habits or concepts in daily life that are quite different from those of young people. It’s okay to quarrel with your son, but if it involves mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is still difficult to deal with. Sometimes I work hard at home, but in the end I complain. This is also a point of concern for many elderly and young parents.
In fact, sometimes you have to admit that no matter whether you help your children or not, this kind of thing can’t become an’insurance rope’ for your own pension. Even if you bring your grandchildren with you, the relationship is not good. I really want to have a relaxed life in my old age, so I educate my children well when I am young, save myself more pension money, and pay attention to my health. This is actually the guarantee of a happy life in my old age.
If you are bringing a baby to your daughter, your daily life may be easier, but you also need to pay attention to maintaining private space besides comfort.
With the one-child policy, many elderly people have only one daughter. I grew up holding it in my hand, and now I can’t let it go after marrying my son. Many elderly people choose to bring babies to their daughters because they are actually worried about the problems between their daughters and mother-in-law, and they feel that they are better able to care for their daughters by taking care of them.
If the old man is bringing a baby to his daughter, he may be more inclined towards emotional closeness. There are not too many scruples in daily life, so he should get along more comfortable. But in this way, it is very likely that the old man will unknowingly’invade’ into the life of the young couple, making the son-in-law who was originally the husband feel as if he can’t get in at all, instead becoming an’outsider’. This is especially true for many elderly people who are already close to their daughters.
No matter how close the relationship is with the child, as an elderly person, one needs to pay attention to it, that is, I just come to help the young couple spend a special period of time (such as confinement, or taking the child to kindergarten). Instead of putting one’s energy back into the grandson or granddaughter, take another parenting journey. It is the parents of the children who should really nurture and take care of the children and bear the responsibility for the children. To allow daughters to take on the role of mother and son-in-law to play the role of father requires the elderly to’let go’ consciously.
Actually, the reason why the old people take their babies is “not pleased”, and it has nothing to do with whether they choose to take their grandchildren or grandchildren or granddaughters. The saying that’grandparents and grandchildren are naturally close, and the old age will be guaranteed in the future’,’grandpa and grandmother will bring out a white-eyed wolf’ is groundless at all. The relationship between the old and the younger never comes from the name of blood, but the bond established after a long time together. There may not be much difference between giving birth to one and giving birth to two, but in 20 years, the difference will be big
Nowadays, young families have a somewhat polarized attitude towards the issue of having a second child. Some young parents believe that having one child is already very stressful, and if they struggle to have a second child, the quality of life of the whole family will definitely be affected. At the same time, some parents believe that being able to witness the growth of a small life is a very happy process. Although it is a bit harder, it is also very fulfilling to raise the children to adults.
Back then Regardless of blocking the birth of a second child, now seeing how the siblings look when they grow up, Bao Ma said that they were born right.
Ms. Wang is 50 years old this year, and she felt very proud when she mentioned her pair of children. When Ms. Wang struggled to give birth to a second child, she also took a lot of effort, and even paid a fine. Relatives and friends around her advised her not to have a second child. The life of a family of three will be much easier. But Ms. Wang said, “A child is too lonely.”
So Ms. Wang gave birth to the eldest daughter at the age of 25 and the youngest son at the age of 30. Now both children have graduated and worked. When looking for a job, the eldest daughter was more experienced, and she gave her younger brother some ideas in this regard. In the end, the younger brother also successfully found a job under the guidance of the older sister.
In normal times, if the elder sister and the object quarrel, the younger brother must be the first to “seeking justice” for the elder sister. The younger brother always said, “I’m just this one sister, no one is allowed to bully her!” Although the siblings are five years apart, they are really close. Some time ago, my elder sister was preparing for the wedding, and my younger brother had been busy running around. The sister teased the younger brother and said, “You are really more active than your parents!” The younger brother disapproved, “I must marry you beautifully, you are my sister!”
Look When the two brothers and sisters made their own ideas for each other, Ms. Wang felt that there was nothing wrong with the practice of having a second child back then. “Perhaps there is not much difference between having one child and having two children when they are young. It is nothing more than having two children. But when the children grow up, you can really feel that the two children have a company with each other, which is too important. Up!”
There may be no difference between giving birth to one and giving birth to two. But after 20 years, the difference has become bigger.
When the children grow up, they are reluctant to tell their parents about some things, but they are willing to confide in their brothers and sisters. Compared with playmates, brothers and sisters have more family affection. Compared with relatives and friends, brothers and sisters are the best playmates. So when the parents give birth to a second child, they may not see anything when the children are young, but when the children grow up and see the two children helping each other and supporting each other, the parents will be really relieved.
The children grow up to adulthood, but the parents are getting old. Although parents do not ask for their love for their children, it has to be said that if two children can share the burden of support in their old age, the burden on the children will naturally be lighter. . Although parents don’t expect to raise children to prevent old age, when there is no guarantee in their old age, there are two children beside them, which will also give parents some hope in their later life.
After the parents pass away, if they are accompanied by brothers and sisters, they can also give the child one more blood relative in this world. The link of family affection is not broken, so that children will not be lonely and lonely because of their parents’ departure. Although the children have grown up and established a new family, they will still feel warm with the company of their brothers and sisters.
Two-child family How can parents maintain the affection between their children?
For children to become important people in each other’s lives, parents need to manage the emotional relationship between the children. In daily life, parents should not arbitrarily compare their children, because this will increase the sense of competition between children and affect the establishment of close emotional relationships between children.
Smart second-child parents know how to create a sense of ritual in life. When children find that they are accompanied by brothers and sisters at many important moments in life, they will have a deeper understanding of brotherhood. Compared with the only child, having brothers and sisters is a very happy thing.
In families with two children, it is inevitable that there will be some conflicts and differences between the children. At this time, parents must not intervene lightly, because the intervention at this time is likely to aggravate the misunderstanding between the children, which is not conducive to the solution of the problem. Let the children deal with it by themselves, which will allow them to gradually figure out the right way to get along with each other.
In addition, it is particularly important that parents must not be partial in front of their two children, and treat the two children fairly, so that they can enjoy equal love. It is really hard to have two children. Parents should be fully psychologically prepared when making this choice. However, there is always a reward for giving. When the children grow up, the parents will be rewarded for the hard work they have put in for their children in those years.