Are you still a “count to 3” mother? Stop it, this is not a magic weapon for discipline
When I went out for dinner after get off work a few days ago, there was a mother and daughter sitting on the table next to us. The mother seemed to be in a hurry. She kept urging the child to eat, but the child was unwilling to eat. He vomited after eating a mouthful of food, then vomited again after eating, and did not swallow in the end.
As a result, the mother said angrily, “If you don’t eat anymore, don’t go home, 1, 2, 3”. The child looked at her aggrievedly and ate the food in her mouth. .
I believe everyone is familiar with this scene. This seems to be the favorite way for every mother. Although it looks very useful, it can still cause harm to the child.
Can’t let children realize the problem
The method of “counting to 3” is nothing more than a threat to the child. It gives the child a strong sense of oppression in a harsh and commanding tone. Even after counting to 3, if the child does not make changes, he may be severely affected. Punishment.
So, many times the mother counts to 3, although the child starts to eat well, but does not realize the problem, but reluctantly accepts it under the pressure of the mother, and does not feel that she should do it at all.
This problem will continue to exist when we eat in the future, so the “count to 3” education method is not advisable.
There is no opportunity for children to express
Many parents do I hope there is a well-behaved and sensible child who can do things according to his own ideas. But children are very special, they have a lot of fantastic ideas.
If every time a problem arises, parents will use this threatening method to solve it, and do not give the child any opportunity to express, it is likely to cause the parent-child relationship to become more and more distant.
So, when encountering anything, parents should first consider why their children are like this? Listen to your child’s inner thoughts.
The child loses the right to choose
Be aware that every All children are rascals and temper tantrums. If parents blindly use “count to 3” to order their children, the children will become less and less of their own ideas, and even give up the right to choose.
I don’t use my brain when I meet things, I think I just need to obey. Such children tend to be particularly dependent on others, do not have the ability to face difficulties alone, and are particularly prone to big emotions due to a little thing, which will affect the healthy growth of the child.
easily lead to anxious personality in children
From the perspective of parents Judging from it, this kind of education is an ultimatum to the child, to stop him from slandering and bargaining.
For children, when the parents say “1, 2, 3”, the child’s heart will instantly change from happy to nervous and scared.
Such an approach can easily lead to anxious emotions in children. They are always in an uneasy atmosphere, always afraid of punishment after their parents have counted them, and may even leave a shadow of childhood.
Although sometimes parents’ education needs some “Routine”, but this kind of threat is absolutely undesirable. Smart parents should learn to communicate with their children and guide them patiently until the problem is solved. “I hate my sister-in-law coming to live in my house.” Tong Yan Wuji, a 4-year-old boy, felt the pain of a traditional family.
There has always been a saying in our country that there are many children and happiness, so after letting go of the second child, Many families have chosen to respond to the call of the state and become second-child families. In fact, in the age of our parents, many families were families with many children. Although there were a lot of people, there were some conflicts, and sometimes even children were involved.
Ms. Ye’s son is just four years old, It’s the time for innocence and splendor. Because Ms. Ye and her husband are usually busy, she invites her parents-in-law to take care of the children.
The two old people are naturally very fond of this lovely grandson. Ms. Ye feels very pleased and of course very grateful to treat the child with heart and soul.
Some time ago, when Ms. Ye’s sister-in-law’s house was decorated, the sister-in-law took the children to join her parents. Because the parents lived in Ms. Ye’s house, the sister-in-law was naturally under the same roof with Ms. Ye.
There will be some contradictions when getting along with a big family, but for the face of her mother-in-law, Ms. Ye can bear it.
This day my sister-in-law took the child to a friend’s house After eating, Ms. Ye’s house temporarily recovered calm. At the dinner table, Ms. Ye’s son said to her, “I hate my sister-in-law coming to live at my house.” Ms. Ye hurriedly stopped his son. Although it was Tong Yan Wushu, the in-laws were all present at the time, which inevitably would be embarrassing.
But the son completely ignored him and said sister-in-law Doing nothing at home, he often directs his grandparents and mother to do things. Brother Toto, who is also my sister-in-law’s son, often plays with his toys, eats his snacks, and sometimes beats him when he is not paying attention. .
Although everyone is laughing and joking, we will soon turn this topic Transferred to the past, but in the face of this actual problem, whether it is Ms. Ye or her parents-in-law, her heart will inevitably be painful. After all, everyone wants a harmonious and happy family atmosphere, not full of contradictions and unhappiness.
What are the reasons for family conflicts?
1. Lack of family education
Some of the behaviors of children in adulthood are actually the most direct manifestation of the education that their parents gave them when they were young. If the parents did not spend energy on them when the child was young, then the child must be like a small tree sapling. It may deviate from the trajectory in the process of growth, and it is difficult to become a towering tree.
2, parents’ love
Some parents are used to taking care of everything for their children. Even if their children want to try, they will be rejected by their parents because they worry about their children being harmed. Gradually, children will be content with the status quo and become accustomed to relying on their parents for everything. Even some things they can do will place their hopes on others, never thinking about trying to explore on their own.
3. Parents’ preference for children
If there are two or more children in a family, then parents’ love for children is naturally different. Although we have always emphasized that a bowl of water should be level, few parents can really do it. Over time, the parent preferred by the parent will act recklessly, even in middle age.
What should parents do in a family with many children?
1. Give equal love to children
Whether it is a boy or a girl, parents should treat them equally. Although the idea of patriarchalism still exists in our country, there are also many families who are proper daughter slaves. No matter what kind of state it is, it is actually not conducive to the growth of children. Only when parents love their children unconditionally can they treat their children truly and fairly.
2. Educate every child with heart< /p>
The education of parents to their children is a lifelong task, and the guidance of parents is inseparable at every stage of children’s growth. However, in a family with many children, parents are likely to treat their children differently. They will focus on the children they like and neglect the cultivation of other children. This will inevitably lead to the children’s growth or development. There are more or less problems.
Although there are many children in traditional families in my country, as long as parents know how to educate, they believe that the family relationship will be harmonious and the children will be united and loving.