Are the two-child families really “boss and eldest son”? The difference stems from these three points and has nothing to do with the order of birth
Writer: Chen Fang
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Finalized: Su Zihou
There is usually a phenomenon in second-child families. The younger child is usually more lively than the older child, and it feels smarter and smarter.
Therefore, some people think that “the old man is born simple, the second child is good.” Is it really the truth? What is causing the difference in IQ and EQ between the two children? Listen to professional explanations.
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Case: Are the two-child family really “boss and idiots”?
Li Man is the eldest daughter of the family. She has been running around with her parents since she was a child, and she has not had a good life for a few days. In the past two years, the family’s economic conditions have gradually improved, and the parents gave birth to a second child, and they are also sisters.
After the younger sister was born, she was soaked in a honeypot. Her parents never beat or scolded her, and she was much older than her younger sister, so she let her in everything. My sister has been very lively and outgoing since she was a child. She is very good at amusing her parents and the people around her. Everyone likes her.
After working, Li Man would obey his parents a sum of money every year, but his sister never gave it to him. Even his mother was ill and just glanced at him and left, while Li Man paid for it. Relatives all say that my sister is too good, and good things are catching up. When encountering problems, she runs faster than anyone else.
This situation in real life It seems very common, but common does not mean absolute, and there are not many bosses in families.
Li Lingling worked in a foreign trade company after graduation, and had a good monthly income. After her sister got married, her family had financial difficulties. Therefore, for a long time, Li Lingling was helping her sister’s family.
Later, the economic situation of my sister’s family gradually improved. Li Lingling also saved a little money. She wanted to buy a house, but she was a little too close. She reached out to her sister to borrow, but her sister said that there was too much money at home. Money can be borrowed.
Li Lingling wanted to find her parents for a turnaround, but found that even her parents’ deposits were kept in her sister’s hands. So it’s not absolute that the second child is more shrewd. Some family bosses are equally shrewd.
The difference is mainly due to these three points, and it has nothing to do with the order of birth
1. Material and spiritual resources
The biggest competition between children in general is family resources. , Family resources are mainly material and spiritual resources. Family resources are rich. Children can get enough resources and they will not take too many actions to occupy them.
However, when family resources are scarce and children cannot get enough resources, competition will arise. In order to enrich the resources they enjoy, children will naturally spend more thoughts on fighting for and asking for them. .
2, parenting differences
As far as many families are concerned, the second child’s family environment is superior to that of the eldest, because usually families choose more second children because their economic situation has improved, so that they will be able to raise two children .
So the second child will be much better than the eldest in terms of economic conditions after birth. With sufficient economic conditions, parents will naturally provide better educational resources and living conditions, and the second child will naturally live by More comfortable, and more lively and outgoing in character.
3. Innate genes
The statement that human personality is born has been confirmed. There is no way to avoid this difference. Studies have shown that even children born to the same parents are different in many ways, even identical twins.
How to balance between children difference?
1. As far as family resources are concerned, material resources are usually not easy to change, but they can also be balanced and balanced on limited material resources.
The spiritual resources can be changed. Parents should give their children equal care and love, not to make the two children feel competitive, but to establish a deep brotherhood and understand that each other is a “cooperative” relationship , Not a “competitive” relationship.
2, in the parenting of children On the issue, the second child’s economic situation becomes better after birth. It’s understandable to give the child a better education and environment, but some corresponding adjustments should be made to the eldest son. The child should be given a better education and environment according to the actual situation at home. When giving birth to a second child, you should seek the opinions of the boss as much as possible, and do a good job of psychological construction for the boss.
3. There is usually no way to avoid inborn personality differences, but parents can actively shape the child’s personality in the day after tomorrow. Lively and extroverted can teach him to be calm and introverted, while introverted avoidance can teach him to be confident and generous. .
Knowledge extension: introversion equals avoidant personality?
Many people say that children at home are introverted and not talkative, but some children are not introverted, but an avoidant personality. The two are completely different.
Introversion is just a kind of personality, there is no uniform characterization, and introversion is not a defect, it can only be regarded as a difference. Introverts usually just don’t like to socialize, they like to be alone but are not afraid of socializing.
The avoidant personality is From a psychological point of view, it is a psychological problem.
Usually manifested as fear of inadequate abilities, extremely caring about negative evaluations and low self-esteem, usually showing loneliness, fear of strangers and unfamiliar surroundings at an early age.
Therefore, when a child is not so gregarious, parents should correctly distinguish whether the child is an introvert or an avoidant personality. It will adversely affect and interfere with the child’s life and work. Parents must Attract attention.
Today’s topic: Is your boss or the second? The girl has the following characteristics, which explain her I am good at studying science, and I work hard to be no worse than boys
Writer: Chen Fang
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Finalized: Su Zihou
< p>In most people’s perception, men are good at rational thinking and women are good at perceptual thinking. Therefore, in the choice of arts and sciences, boys prefer science, while girls choose liberal arts. Even some experts agree with this view. However, this is not the case.
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The current liberal arts and sciences are clearly differentiated
As far as current education is concerned, the admission rate for undergraduates in science is much higher than that in liberal arts, and the admission rate for liberal arts is 35 %, while the acceptance rate for science subjects is around 50%.
The proportion of girls in liberal arts students is about 71%, which means that in the college entrance examination, the competitiveness of liberal arts will be far greater than that of science. In fact, this kind of competition is more Exist among girls.
What is even more surprising is that when I surveyed girls in liberal arts classes, almost 25% of the girls said that they chose liberal arts because their parents and the people around them think girls are more suitable for studying. In the liberal arts, 30% of students expressed fear that they would not be able to keep up with the progress in science, while only 35% of the students who chose liberal arts because of their hobbies.
From this perspective This kind of solidified thinking is not just an ordinary joke, it has already had a greater impact on the growth of children and the choice of future direction. If it is not contained in time, it will only increase the competition for educational resources. Fairness, girls will suffer.
To change this situation, we should discover the specialties of children and respect their interests. In many cases, girls can also shine in science. We should not use our own thinking to define them. s future.
With these characteristics Girls, science will not be bad
1, love to think
They all say that interest is the best teacher, and they will not do bad things, but will work hard. To the best, and the science curriculum is the part that needs to be considered. We all know that when entering junior high school, girls have gradually matured and become more emotional.
But for girls who love science courses, their sensibility is not to indulge in the novels, but to yearn for challenges and move forward in the sea of questions.
Every time a difficult question is made, they will feel joy and pleasure. Such girls usually have better scores in science and their thinking skills are also more active. If you work hard in the follow-up, Not worse than boys.
2, good spatial imagination
This mainly refers to the ability to form a basic concept of its size, position and shape in the brain when thinking about a certain object. This is also the most important ability to solve certain spatial problems.
There will be many similar problems in mathematics, which seem difficult on the surface, but as long as you can imagine all its forms, everything can be solved easily. This ability is also a logical ability, which is beneficial to science. Learn.
3. Logic game< /p>
It is said that the difference between boys and girls can be reflected in toys. Girls love Barbie dolls and skip rope, while boys love building blocks and Go. Usually games such as Go are logical games. If a girl also likes these games, it means that she will be better in science in the future.
Because logical thinking is the foundation of science learning, you need to keep thinking when playing this type of game, and you also need to think when you learn many science courses. This is the commonality between the two .
How to guide children to make the right choice?
1. Discover and cultivate interest
Children’s growth and development are not achieved overnight, so parents should always pay attention to their life and study, and take the initiative to understand and discover their interests.
Sometimes a child’s lack of interest in something does not mean absolute rejection. It may just be because they have not discovered the meaning and fun in it. If they choose to give up directly, they may leave regrets.
So parents should help their children do Good choice, some meaningful hobbies can be cultivated at the right time. If they find their own interests in them, everyone will be happy; if they are still not interested, then it will also become a useful experience.
2. Guidance at the right time and avoid wrong interference
Some children may be interested in certain things, but this behavior is harmful to their growth. For example, many children nowadays There will be people who love to play with mobile phones. At this time, parents should intervene in time.
First inform its hazards, from Basically put an end to this behavior, and secondly guide them to choose some correct hobbies, which can not only divert attention, but also broaden their horizons.
Finally, it is worth noting that when children are faced with choices, parents should not impose their own inherent thoughts or their own wishes on them, as this will only cause adverse consequences.