Always reluctant to stick to the end, maybe your child is only 50 hours away from others
The child is always reluctant to do one thing persistently, for example, can’t insist on reciting words every day, can’t insist on Complete the work every day with quality and quantity.
Children’s reluctance to stick to the end is actually related to their willpower and self-control. I can’t always insist on doing one thing well, it’s always easy to relax myself. Can parents just leave it alone and indulge their children’s bad habits, which become more and more serious day by day, and there is no way to control it?
In fact, it only takes 5 hours to correct the child’s bad habit. The son of Xiao Zhang from Fujian is now 9 years old, and it hasn’t been a few years since his son graduated from elementary school.
Xiao Zhang found that the child’s learning state was very bad. The first thing after returning home was to find something to play with, and to do his homework only after playing enough. Not only that, Xiao Zhang is always half-hearted and can’t insist on what he wants to do. , So Xiao Zhang is very worried that after his son enters junior high school, there will be no way to adapt to the intense competition.
Xiao Zhang learned from his son’s head teacher, how to train the child and persist in doing things. , The habit of doing homework well. The head teacher said that 50 hours of thinking is enough to cultivate children’s perseverance and perseverance habits.
1. What is the 50-hour rule?
1. Everything is difficult at the beginning
The most difficult thing to do is actually the period of preparation. All beginnings are hard. The first 50 hours are actually the most painful and difficult, but as long as it has passed, and after knowing how to do things and how to prepare, they will naturally be able to deal with it. So for the first 50 hours, let the child stick to the past, and then the child will stick to doing things, it will be much easier and easier.
2. Overcome fear, let the child start doing 50 hours
Encourage children to overcome fear, fear of difficulty 50, do 50 hours first. For example, if a child finds it difficult, feels out of reach, and feels that there is no way to do it, encourage the child to let go of this fear.
When dealing with a lot of new things, not only children and adults will also have the fear of being intimidated. You might as well use this 50-hour rule to make a beginning first to understand how to do things. Help let go of fear, help overcome fear, and go one step further from success.
3. Develop a good habit for 50 hours
What’s wrong with the child, let the child spend 50 hours to get rid of this bad problem. For example, children always like to take off their shoes and can’t put them neatly, so let the children insist on taking off their shoes within 48 hours of two days and put the shoes neatly. Just stick to two days.
2. How can the 50-hour rule be applied to help children develop good habits of perseverance
1. Let children experience 50 hours of concentration and happiness
Experience 50 hours of focused happiness, 50 hours is actually two days. Parents can spend four or five days, let the children fix 45 hours a day to do what they want to do, such as let the child play with building blocks, let the child play the Rubik’s Cube, let the child concentrate on doing one thing, experience the focus Happiness and feel the great results of concentration.
2. Let the child experience the 50 hours of diligence
Let the child experience the 50 hours of diligence, let the child do one thing he is willing to do, and it is necessary to maintain attention , Things that can be done with a high degree of concentration. In those few days, through experiencing the feeling of diligence, the body can get used to the state of diligence. In this way, when children do other things in the future, they will also consciously or unconsciously bring this state into it.
3. Let the child experience the joy of success
After the child is persistent and diligent for 50 hours, tell the child that he is successful, excellent, and let the child feel the success Be happy and let children have a successful experience.
After the child has a successful initial experience, it will be much easier to carry out other perseverance. Because of a good experience, the child will continue to do persistent things in order to obtain and maintain a successful experience. The body will become more and more accustomed to the state of diligence and effort.
4. Let the children get used to the 50-hour rule
Let the children get used to the 50-hour rule, and face more difficult things in the future, or when the child cannot concentrate, Just let the child do it for 50 hours first, and the child will get used to this rule once or twice, and will use this method when facing the same situation.
Several times to use the 50-hour rule has become a habit of children doing things, which can help children develop the habit of perseverance. Not only children, but adults also suffer from easy relaxation. Through 50 hours of concentrated study, or 50 hours of diligence to get more successful experience, through the beginning of 50 hours to overcome the fear of difficulty, the state of doing things is very good. What children can learn, we can also learn. Parents’ 4 inadvertent behaviors are pushing their children into the abyss of inferiority. Don’t “destroy the baby tirelessly”
Children grow day by day Some parents are gratified that their children grow up, but they also occasionally find out why this child is becoming more and more timid and hesitating when talking, not as lively as when he was a child?
The child of Xiaoyan’s family is five years old this year, very timid, sometimes not as smart as the three-year-old child of other families. Xiaoyan hates iron and steel. Whenever she sees other people’s children being generous to others, she can’t help but complain about her own children. Why are you so cringe and dull?
But she has not thought about it. In fact, all the children’s development trajectories are traceable. Children slowly become inferior, which is definitely not something that can be developed in a day.
When many parents pay attention to the physical development of their children, they do not pay attention to the psychological changes of their children. In some daily routines, they unknowingly hurt the children’s heart without knowing it.
So when parents are thinking about finding out the reasons for their children’s low self-esteem, they might as well reflect on themselves first to see if they are doing something wrong.
1. What are the signs of a child becoming inferior?
1. No longer willing to try new things
One of the children’s nature is curiosity. They are full of natural curiosity about everything in the world, which also allows them to open up their imagination and learn quickly Ways to new things.
But for children with low self-esteem, they are not very willing to touch new things, it will make them feel tired, feel risky, afraid that they will mess up, and finally just want to stay with themselves It’s safe to feel safe in the face of things you are familiar with.
Sometimes the more parents encourage them to try something new, the more resistant this type of child is.
2. People will be uncomfortable when going to a crowded place, and behave and behave.
Will speak If it’s a matter of fancy, children who will take the initiative to call people are definitely the treasures of grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers, and sisters. Who doesn’t like smart and generous children?
But for children with low self-esteem, they are timid when dealing with unfamiliar or infrequent people, and they are unwilling to take the initiative to speak out.
Not to mention being taken to an unfamiliar environment. Too much attention from strangers will make them uncomfortable. They don’t know how to put their hands and feet. If they are serious, they will cry and clamor to leave. .
3. Emotional ups and downs, unable to control and process their own emotions
Generally speaking, when children feel unhappy or frustrated, most of them will seek help from their parents , Because how to deal with problems and how to relieve one’s emotions are also things that children should learn.
At this time, parents who spend most of their time with their children are the best teachers.
For children with low self-esteem, when they encounter difficulties and setbacks, most of them are reluctant to talk outside, even their parents, because they always feel that the difficulties and setbacks they encounter are not their own It’s my own fault to do a good job. They are afraid of being laughed at, so they cannot let others know.
Sometimes when this matter is not handled properly, the trouble of another matter ensues, which will cause bad emotions to often get out of control.
In the eyes of unsuspecting people, this child has a bad temper.
2. What bad habits do parents usually have that can cause their children to feel low self-esteem?
1. Get used to dictating decisions made by children
In daily life, parents always have to intervene when children can properly take charge. They think this is a bit wrong, that almost means.
When the children’s choices and decisions are denied by their parents too many times, the children’s heart will start to deny themselves slowly, and they will think that they are always unable to make the best choice. I can’t always satisfy my parents.
This will cause children to cringe and not believe in themselves when they encounter some selective problems in the future, and gradually become inferior in self-denial.
2. Compare children with other people’s children
I believe that most people have not escaped the curse of “other people’s children” in the process of growing up. Parents want to make Children can make progress and develop in the direction they hope. They often find a case better than the children to teach them.
But a child is a person with rich emotions, not a machine that enters the corresponding code according to your ideas and runs as you want.
Too many comparisons, allowing children to be frequently devalued by their parents in comparison with other children will cause the children to gradually lose confidence and become inferior.
3. Beat and scold and criticize children mercilessly in front of others
Children make mistakes and need criticism from parents, but the way of criticism must also be a correct method of.
Some parents get angry after their children make mistakes, no matter what the situation is, they will immediately take action to educate their children.
These educational methods that are not important to parents will leave a great psychological shadow on children.
Being beaten, scolded, criticized in a crowded place, the child’s self-esteem will be strongly frustrated, and he feels that everyone is looking at him, he loses his face, and will become more and more resistant in the future. local.
4. Expectations for children are too high
It is said that there are three mature moments in a person’s life. One is to recognize that his father is not as great as he thought, and the other is to recognize He is just an ordinary person, and the third is to recognize that his child’s aptitude is only ordinary.
Even the famous writer Ma Boyong admits that it is easy to recognize the first two points, but it is actually difficult to recognize the third point by yourself.
Because there are no parents who do not want their son to become a dragon and their daughter to become a phoenix.
Parents always believe that their children can do better. They put high expectations and unachievable goals in front of their children time and time again, hoping that their children can hand in satisfactory answers.
In fact, the pressure on children is very high at this time. However, they rarely question the high demands of their parents, and only think that their abilities are inadequate and they have no confidence in themselves.
3. What should be the correct way for parents to avoid their children’s low self-esteem?
1. Pay more attention to the child’s heart
Don’t think that the child has suddenly changed and become inferior. It is not a day’s work to pierce through the water. The loss of children’s inner confidence and the accumulation of inferiority can be reflected in many small daily things.
When parents treat their children, they should pay more attention to their emotional changes, take into account their moods and feelings when things happen, and don’t think that they are the dominant player, standing on a high place holding a shelf.
2. Learn more about your children
Learn more about your children’s interests and hobbies, learn about your children’s abilities and shortcomings, and learn about your children’s likes or dissatisfaction with them.
This avoids a lot of improper interference with children, excessive expectations of children, and pulls in the distance between parent and child as much as possible, so that you can become the object of the child’s heart to listen to and speak. .
When a child has an inferiority complex, parents should not complain too much about the child. Good guidance and communication is the best way to solve the problem.
In daily life, respect your children’s opinions, cultivate children’s ability to make choices, and don’t overly criticize. In matters related to children, only the parents and children reach a consensus, which is the best outcome.