After the child is in the fourth grade, why doesn’t Mommy seldom expose her baby? The 4 reasons are simple.
The arrival of a new life will make the whole family cheer for it, but when the joy passes, novice parents will have to face the problem of how to take care of their baby.
The process of bringing up children is hard, but even so, mothers will feel happy as their children grow up, and at the same time they will feel that their children have different looks and behaviors. Unspeakably cute, I can’t help but want to record it in the form of photos and share it in the circle of friends.
So whenever we look at Bao Ma’s circle of friends, their daily life is to show babies, show babies, and show babies.
After the child is in the fourth grade of elementary school, Bao’s mom’s circle of friends The style of painting has changed.
The mothers who like to show off their babies must be in everyone’s friends list. If you look at their circle of friends, you will feel that they are holding their phones and taking pictures of their children all the time. , As if to record all the children’s every move, and Linlin is such a mother.
After her baby was born, Linlin became a famous “baby girl” in the circle of friends. From the child’s art photos to the fun of life, Bao’s mother would share with her relatives and friends.
Actually, I understand this feeling. After all, everyone is the first time a parent. Only when they really see their children make some small expressions and grow up, do they feel their hardship Not in vain.
But when Linlin’s child goes to elementary school After the fourth grade, everyone found that she rarely sees her baby, and the circle of friends is updated less frequently. So the question is, why don’t moms seldom expose babies at this age?
Why did the child “disappear” from Baoma’s circle of friends when he reached the fourth grade?
In fact, it’s not just Linlin. Many people will find that once a child reaches the fourth grade, Bao’s mother seldom exposes the child to her circle of friends, and the four reasons behind this are actually very simple.
Reason 1: The children only start the real contest in the fourth grade
When the children grow up to this stage, the demand for knowledge increases, and if you want to cultivate the children’s various hobbies, The fourth grade is also a key stage for children to develop in many ways.
In short, the fourth grade child With more important tasks in learning, there is not much time available for fun, so moms no longer have materials to share with their circle of friends.
Reason 2: When the children reach the fourth grade, they start to rush frequently to make-up classes and interest classes.
Many children will show interest in some extracurricular aspects in the fourth grade, such as: Basketball, painting, dancing, etc., are all manifestations of children’s talents and hobbies.
Nowadays, living conditions are generally improved, and parents are also Pay more attention to the cultivation of children. When discovering these hobbies of children, they will not feel that it is a factor that affects learning, but will actively encourage them. Therefore, many children start to take various supplementary classes and interest classes in the fourth grade, and they are busy like a little spinning top. This is also an important reason why parents can’t expose their babies.
Reason 3: The fourth grade children have their own ideas, and the parent-child relationship has changed.
The fourth grade is a more obvious growth for a child, the children’s independence and self-consciousness The awareness of management is enhanced, and the mother no longer needs to be by his side at all times, and the parent-child relationship will naturally change.
At this time, some children will always Take pictures of your own behavior to avoid, and you will not let your mother take pictures like when you were a child. This is also the first stage of parent-child changes, so parents can no longer treat their children with the previous concept, but should face up to their children’s ideas and requirements for independence.
Reason 4: Bao’s mother has gradually lost interest in sunbathing
In addition, the reason for not sunbathing may also come from mother, because the child is in elementary school. , Mom will also break away from the identity of Baoma and return to her original professional life.
At this time, this woman is not just playing the role of “mother”, she also has to become a person who can be alone in the work, facing the difficulties and challenges in the work, so she has no I am in a special mood to expose my baby.
Parents should also pay attention to the way and method to expose their babies.
简In other words, in a family, the first to fourth grades of children are a watershed, which will change both for the parents and for the children themselves.
Furthermore, parents should also pay attention to their children’s exposure. They can no longer share embarrassing or embarrassing things with their friends, as this will hurt their children’s self-esteem. But you can share some of the moments when the child has achieved small achievements, and it will also help the child build confidence. “Soft violence” is more terrifying than violence. “Emotional blackmail” should not be used in parent-child education.
Almost all parents know that violence in the family and in the relationship between parents and children cannot solve the fundamental problem. It is problematic, and it will cause irreparable damage to the parent-child relationship. However, there are still many parents who cannot escape the trap of violence, understand the disadvantages of physical violence, and enter the trap of “soft violence”. Why?
How many parents like to treat their children Saying “I’m doing this for your own good, so why don’t you appreciate it?” “I am your elder, do you know what filial piety is?” This is a common problem that many parents tend to commit.
Coincidentally, I saw such a scene while watching TV that day. The child wants to participate in a summer camp, but the parents do not agree. They feel that it is very unsafe to send the child to the wilderness. It is better to attend a summer camp than to take a science lesson.
However, the child secretly discussed the participation with the teacher, and cooperated with his sister to defraud the parents’ signatures. When the review was approved, the child was prepared to “cut first and then play”, and there would be no way for the parents to disagree. Up.
Finally, the parents discovered the child’s “trick” and yelled at the child. They also said, “Mom and Dad are worried about your safety. It’s all right for you. We really love you for nothing. , You are so unappreciative.” One thing that was originally very small has been made so much.
There is a metaphor behind this scene The common problem faced by many families: What should be done when parent-child communication cannot be carried out?
Parents may not know that they have fallen into the trap of “soft violence”
Parents see the above scene, and then think about whether they have said this before? In fact, this is not at all because parents really love their children, but because their children’s inner thoughts are too self-assured and determined, parents have to adopt the “killer”-moral kidnapping, through “I am your parent, you should listen to me “Such words, to make the child speechless and feel guilty.
Parents do not know that similar words are actually an invisible soft violence to their children. It does not actually solve the problem, but deepens the contradiction between parent and child, which is a kind of emotional blackmail. “Soft violence” is more terrifying than violence. “Emotional blackmail” should not be used in parent-child education.
How does “soft violence” hurt children’s growth?
Injury 1: Break the child’s self-confidence and consume the child’s motivation
Parent’s denial is the most harmful to the child, and the parent’s incomprehension will make the child continue to wear down their self-worth. As a result, they lose the motivation to live out themselves. Once a child’s self-confidence is suppressed, he will definitely encounter obstacles of all sizes in the process of personality formation and psychological construction in the future.
Injury 2: Causes the child’s rebellious psychology to increase Serious
Just imagine, if parents have adopted “soft violence” to solve the problem, how can the child calmly deal with the conflict? Parents’ soft violence will cause children to face more psychological problems, large and small, which is not conducive to the physical and mental health of children.
Injury 3: Destroy the parent-child relationship and deepen the estrangement
If parents always stand on the moral high ground and suppress their children’s nature of exploring, it will eventually lead to the breakdown of the parent-child relationship. It will be more difficult for the two parties to communicate in the future, which is not conducive to the long-term healthy development of the parent-child relationship.
So, end soft violence against children , Is the basis for harmonious communication. The most important thing in a family is that everyone is equal, so that everyone can gain self-worth and happiness in the process of being respected.
What should the correct way of parent-child communication look like?
First of all, it should be mutual understanding and mutual compromise between the two parties.
Although parents are higher than their children in terms of identity, the fact that children are also independent should not be ignored. Harmonious communication in a family should be established In the case of mutual understanding and frankness between the two parties, if one of the two parties starts to choose to avoid or hide, it means that the parent-child relationship has been separated. There should be no concealment of real communication, and there should be discussions on everything.
Parents should set an example to their children in this regard, and let them know that only communication in the family can solve problems.
Secondly, everyone should be equal and mutual Open-hearted
Everyone in a family is independent and should not contain each other or understand each other. Therefore, parents should learn to listen carefully to their children’s thoughts. Only when parents are willing to put a low profile in front of their children, will children be willing to understand and respect their parents in turn. Only this kind of parent-child relationship can be harmonious and long-lasting. Noisy and noisy May solve the root cause of the problem.
Soft violence and violence are in They are different in form, but there is no difference in their essence, which will bring irreparable trauma to the hearts of family members. As a parent, you should not blackmail your child, but think about the problem from the child’s standpoint, communicate with the child in a gentle tone, and let the child open up.