A father’s advice to his daughter: In love, lovers have three expressions, no matter how much you love, don’t marry
Writer: Xiao Xiao
Final draft: Empress Su Zi
Many people learn about feelings for the first time from their parents, and in their future life, the way to get along with the opposite sex is basically learned from their parents.
Because the mother is the first woman the son has seen, and the father is the first man the daughter has seen, the way the children get along with the opposite-sex parents is the same as the way they get along with the opposite sex in the future. The cognition of the opposite sex has a great effect.
The pictures in this article are all from Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do.
Parents with stable relationships and in love can even guide their children’s emotional life, so that they will suffer less harm and have a smoother relationship.
Girls are very easy to get hurt in their relationships, so fathers are particularly important to their daughters. They can help their daughter to judge the lover’s thoughts and current relationship status.
A father who is worried that his daughter will be hit in his relationship has warned his child: If the other party has these three behaviors, he should consider breaking up to avoid sadness.
▼Caution 1: “Cold War” will increase.
If two people have just been together, when there is a dispute, they will use language to quarrel, and immediately after the quarrel, there will be one party first. Apologies, such feelings may be getting better and better.
When the man’s feelings fade When he feels that his girlfriend is dispensable for him, after a conflict, the other party may not quarrel anymore, but simply ignore the person, and this state will last for a long time.
Then, the daughter can carefully consider the relationship between the two, is it suitable to continue?
▼Caution two: more suspicion
The second piece of advice a father has to his daughter is that the trust and sense of security between lovers are also very important.
If some behavior of the other party makes you feel that he is lying or becoming unreliable, then the two parties can communicate well. If the other party is still unwilling to tell the truth, carefully consider each other’s feelings.
▼Warning 3: Communication changes Less
Communication is a way to maintain feelings. Lovers who are more similar in character, three views, and interests will have a stronger desire to communicate, and their feelings will become stronger.
The two people who are not suitable may find a topic to communicate when the relationship is still good, but when the relationship is weak, they are reluctant to forcibly find the topic, and the less communication will make the relationship between the two parties worse. It’s getting lighter and lighter.
Therefore, the father warned his daughter that if this happens, the two parties may not be suitable to continue being together.
Actually, if a father wants his daughter to have a great advantage in love and marriage in the future, he should exert his positive influence when the child is young.
It has been circulating online This sentence: “If a father wants his daughter to marry what kind of person, he needs to be that person first.”
What kind of father has a positive influence on his daughter’s marriage and love?
★Like and respect wives
The relationship between father and mother is the child’s first impression of men and women. If the father has domestic violence, his daughter may be afraid of the opposite sex and lose love. Confidence, can’t start a relationship.
And a father who cares about and respects his wife will make his daughter have a good impression of men and less fear of love life. Parents with good relationships also subtly teach their daughters the correct way to get along with the opposite sex, and future relationships may also be smoother.
★Caring for my daughter
The University of Michigan in the United States conducted a survey of adult women and found that 70% of girls believe that their self-confidence stems from the praise and support of their fathers.
Therefore, a father who cares for, praises, and supports his daughter can give his child a strong self-confidence, and it is not easy to form a giving character.
Their praise to their daughters can make the children have enough confidence in the face of the opposite sex, and will not have the idea that they are not worthy of the other party, thus repeatedly lowering their mate selection standards and enduring the shortcomings of their lovers.
A man with good character and a sense of responsibility for the family can also make his daughters have a good impression of men, and will shape their children’s view of marriage and love, and let them know a man In the family is to pay.
This will reduce the daughter’s marriage Later, the probability of shouldering the responsibility of doing housework and raising children alone.
There is still such a strange phenomenon in today’s society. Parents do not allow their children to fall in love when they are in school, and they are not allowed to understand the relationship between men and women. However, after college, they urge their children to find a partner.
This has also caused many adults to be immature and suffer in their relationships.
Although children cannot fall in love with each other early, they should still be allowed to understand their relationship problems in order to avoid frustration in their relationship life in the future.
How to talk about relationship issues with children?
1. The attitude should not be tough.
Parents should not forcefully inculcate their feelings in their children, or compare other children with him. This will cause resistance and resentment.
For example, when a child talks about love affairs in his class, his parents are directly angry: “Children study hard, don’t pay attention to these.”
2, take their own emotional life as an example
Parents can communicate with their children Take a look at your love life.
For example, my mother can say: “When I was young, there were a lot of people chasing after me. Originally, your father was the least eye-catching one, but he works very hard, and he can get everything in one or two months. , This makes me think he is very reliable.”
Such a simple and easy story can show children their feelings, and it is not easy to arouse disgust. No matter how much mothers usually give, children Often not grateful, but may become more and more rebellious
Writer: Wang Xiaoming
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Finalization: After Su Zi
In the process of raising children, if mothers do not pay attention to methods and methods, even if they pay more, the children will not appreciate it, and they will even go wrong.
All the pictures in this article are from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
These types of mothers are often unpleasant.
1. Moms who like to compare their own children with others
“Others’ children” should be the majority of children A thorn in my heart.
In the process of educating children, many Chinese parents will unconsciously compare their children with other children. In fact, from a psychological point of view, this is due to the unsatisfying of their own desires. Or dissatisfied with the current status quo.
I hope to find a sense of self-worth in children, because educating a good self is also a form of expression of self-worth.
As everyone knows, this not only fails to stimulate the child’s inner fighting spirit, but also fails to play any educational role. On the contrary, due to the continuous depreciation and denial by the mother, he gradually loses self-confidence, feels bad and becomes Low self-esteem and cowardice.
Suggestion: As the saying goes: “There are no two identical leaves in the world.” As a mother, in the process of raising children, don’t always stare at the shortcomings of the baby, but should have the eyes to discover the advantages and guide them to develop their own strengths. , Learn from each other.
2. The mother who likes to nag and accuse the child
In the corridor, you can always hear “xx, what are you doing? I’m going to be late for school”, “You’re really the one with your dad Virtue”…
Most mothers have this characteristic, and they like to nag and even yell at their children. The reason is that mothers usually forbear and compromise with others. A lot of anger is suppressed in the heart. Once the baby makes a mistake, these emotions will be roughly vented to the child.
Children who suffer from mother’s nagging and accusations for a long time may affect the relationship between mother and child. They feel that their mother does not love themselves, and they will gradually lose self-confidence in their hearts. They will develop inferiority and fear. This is also the case when they grow up. They have poor social skills, sensitivity, and distrust of others. , And don’t want to be close to my mother.
Suggestion: First of all, mothers should admit that they are truly confident in themselves; then treat the children as adults, so that they can control their lives, and discuss and communicate when things happen.
3. Mothers who don’t know how to respect their children
I believe that many people have had this experience, that is, the diary, books, etc. placed in the room when they are in school. May be peeked by mom.
This is because the children have their own little secrets when they grow up, and mothers have a certain desire to control the children, thinking that they are their own private property, feeling that “children have no privacy, they are hypocritical”, or “feeling baby I’m still young, if I don’t care about being strict, I’m easy to go astray”, so I want to pry into the baby’s inner thoughts by reading the baby’s diary, letters and other private items at will.
For children, this actually violates their personal privacy. Mothers’ disrespect for themselves creates a sense of shame and breeds a withdrawn and introverted personality. Because of this feeling of being monitored, And be prepared for mothers, lose trust in parents, and will not seek help even if there is something to do; there may also be a lack of ways to communicate and ease emotions, causing depression in the baby’s heart.
Suggestion: Moms should learn to give their children a certain amount of private space, learn to respect their children, and give them a full sense of trust, so that the children can feel independence, trust, etc., so that they can feel safe in their hearts. Healthy and happy growth.
How should mothers educate their children correctly?
1. Caring for children
Mothers should give them full care in the process of raising children, but this kind of love is not spoiling. For example, when the baby completes one thing, she can give proper compliments ;Prepare some nutritious food that they love to eat; squat down to accompany the children and have a good talk with them.
2. Respect the children
Mothers should not think that the children are still young, just make decisions for them and look at the baby’s belongings at will.
But in fact, children are small, but they have their own ideas. Mothers must give a certain amount of space to allow the baby to participate in family decisions. This will not only cultivate the child’s personal abilities, but also allow him to experience the family’s experience. A sense of community, respect, etc.
3. Learn to think empathy
As children grow up, because their personal thoughts and worldviews are not yet mature, they are likely to often make some mistakes. Parents at this time , We must learn to look at problems from the perspective of a baby, think in a simple way, understand the causes and consequences of things together with the children, and guide them to correct their mistakes and take corresponding responsibilities.
Extended reading: Mom’s influence on children
Some people say: “Mom is the child’s first teacher”, this is because mother is the closest person to the baby in this world, every word and deed will affect the formation of thinking.
The German educator said: “The destiny of a country is not in the hands of those in power, but in the hands of its mother.” The cradle’s mother is what drives the change of a country. Throughout history, most of the world’s celebrities who have made achievements have been influenced by their mothers.
The fairy tale king Zheng Yuanjie also said that the meaning of mother’s existence is influence.
Because for young children, they will have an instinctive sense of dependence on their mothers, and the mother’s words, deeds, character, etc. will affect the child’s life.